Legal Small Talk
Small talk is the biggest talk you will ever do.
What is small talk?
When you start small talk, you usually bring up unimportant and non-controversial subjects, and the conversation doesn’t often move on to more profound or deep topics.
These types of conversations happen between people who aren’t really close to each other — such as two people at a lunch event or a coworker on the elevator.
Small Talk
noun: US/ˈsmɔl ˌtɔk/
social conversation about unimportant things, often between people who do not know each other well:
verb: US/ˈsmɔl ˌtɔk/
There is no verb “to small talk”…
Chit-chat
noun: US/ˈchit ˌchat/
informal conversation about matters that are not important:
To chit chat
verb: US
to talk about informal conversation about matters that are not important:
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Are your counterparts cold as ice?
Breaking the ice is one of the most important, but most difficult things you must do at a meeting.
Topics to avoid.
Awkward Small Talk Topics that Are Uncomfortable
As you are thinking about what to bring up when you’re making small talk, you want to be sure the conversation stays light and relatively uneventful.
You don’t want to cause a conflict or any disagreement or argument of any kind to make people want to leave the conversation. To avoid making anyone feel uncomfortable, try not to dive into any of the following topics:
politics
religion
personal finances
personal appearance
death or illness
personal gossip
offensive jokes
anything so specific that very few people can relate to it
topics that are sexual in nature
You’ll know right away if you’ve jumped into a conversation topic that is offensive or questionable if you’re able to pick up body language and facial expressions.
Phrasal Verbs
to bring up
to sum up
to wrap up
Phrasal Verbs
to kick off
to dive into
to jump in
You are here.
Starting Up
Keeping it Going
Wrapping It Up
Starting on a positive note. Psychology is on your side.
Say something in the first 5 seconds that the other person can agree and connect with if you want to help build a connection. This has been proven time after time in studies related to relationship building.
“There is only one chance to make a first impression.”
Agree with your guest. Very simple.
You: “Did you find the building easily?”
Client: “Yes, no problem.”
You: “Welcome to…”
And, if there is a negative answer, agree in the negative.
You: “Did you find the building easily?”
Client: “No, it was a bit tricky.”
You: “Yes, I agree. The street signs are a little difficult to see.”
And for those of use still connecting in the virtual world…
You: “Were you able to connect easily?”
Client: “Sure, no problem.”
You: “Welcome to Legal English Innovation”
And, if there is a negative answer, again agree in the negative.
You: “Were you able to connect easily?”
Client: “No, it was a bit tricky.”
You: “Yes, I agree. Google is a bit strange sometimes.”
Starting Up the Conversation
When starting a conversation it is normal to say hi or hello, or by using a simple icebreaker to get their attention. Then head into other areas and introduce yourself.
Direct
Do you want to introduce yourself directly using your name?
“Hello, my name is Eric.”
or
“Hi, I’m Eric.”
Ice breaker
Do you want to use an icebreaker to make a first impact?
“Did you have any problems finding …
… the building?”
… a cup of coffee?”
… the program?”
People will remember you as helpful if you connect with them in the first 5 seconds this way.
“What do you think about …
… that picture?”
… that painting?”
… the fountain?”
People will remember you as creative and perceptive if you bring up something artistic in the room.
Welcoming
One way to kick off the conversation is by welcoming your new acquaintance and introducing yourself. You can start with a simple greeting, using lines such as:
“Welcome.”
“Good morning/afternoon/evening.”
“I’d like to welcome you today.”
“Thanks for coming today.”
Hello, my name is …
“I am Eric.”
“I’m Eric, but I usually go by …”
“I’m Eric, but people usually call me …”
“I’m Eric, Eric Froiland.”
(don’t say, Bond, James Bond – Please use your first name first)
Asking others to introduce themselves
“I didn’t catch your name, could you …?”
“What did you say your name was?”
Example Introduction
Host: “Hello, did you find a cup of coffee ok?”
Guest: “Yes, sure.”
Host: “Great, welcome to the event, I’m Eric.”
Guest: “Nice to meet you.”
Host: “I didn’t catch your name?”
Guest: “How rude of me, I am Tom.”
Host: “You must be here for the …”
Keeping the conversation going…
What kind of topics do you want to talk about?
Personal
Comment on something nice they are wearing.
Bring up a feature in the room or area.
Kick off with something funny or interesting that you have seen recently.
Professional
Jump into how they got their first big break.
Dive into hat is the biggest industry challenge right now.
If you could write a book about anything, what would it be about?
Second Conditional
If + subject + simple past tense + idea, what would + subject + base verb
Phrasal Verbs
to bring up
to kick off
to dive into
to jump into
Phrasal Verbs
Phrasal Verbs
to bring up
to kick off
to dive into
to jump into
Prepositions – Before & By
In the case of time, these prepositions have the same meaning.
By 5:00pm means anytime before 5:00pm, therefore 4:45pm, 4:30pm or simply anytime before 5:00pm…
By Friday means Thursday night at a reasonable hour.
Getting Involved in Conversations
Active participation in the conversation is key. This is demonstrated by diving in and asking questions and interrupting the host politely if you do not pick up what is being said, or if there is an agreement or disagreement.
6 Ways to “jump in”
“Sorry, but …”
“(I´m) so sorry …?”
“Excuse me, however …?”
“May I jump in? …”
“Excuse me for interrupting, but …”
“I hate to be rude, but …”
How to interrupt politely
Sometimes you need to jump in. But how do you do this without feeling rude? Here are some lines that will help you get your say, without stepping on anyone’s toes.
“Sorry, but just to clarify could you please …”
“(I´m) so sorry I didn’t quite hear that, can you say it again?”
“Excuse me, but what have you figured out about The Sun Valley Course?”
“May I jump in? From our departments perspective, it’s a little more complicated. Let me explain …”
“Excuse me for interrupting”
“I hate to be rude, but how does it affect the balance sheet?”
Asking questions
There are infinite different ways to bring up questions during the conversation. If you need someone to repeat something, to clarify, or asking for more information, the key is to ask. The more you ask, the more you will be remembered and also the more you will take away from the meeting.
Repeating
“Can you repeat that please?”
“Can you run that by me one more time?”
“Can you repeat that in a simplified way?”
Clarification
“I don’t fully understand what you mean. Could you go over it from a different angle?”
“Could you explain to me how you will carry out the project?”
“Just to be clear, is this what you mean … [paraphrasing the speaker]?”
Getting more information
“Do you have any more ideas about that?”
“What do you all think about this plan?”
“Are there any parts missing in your opinion?”
Bringing up a Topic
Eventually everyone has to present what is going on in your department to the rest of the group. Being prepared will make you feel much more confident and ready to carry out the presentation.
Sharing your Small Talk Topic
“What do you think about …?”
“Have you heard about…?”
“Are you aware that…?”
Dividing your Talk
Informing the listener about how the information will be delivered can help increase engagement and help you carry out your objective.
“Let me show you this from two ways …”
“I like to look at this from two points of view …”
“If you look at it from …”
Concluding
You should wrap up by briefly going over the key messages and action points again. The conclusion should ensure that the guests present in the conversation finish with a clear idea about what you just said.
The closing phrases could be:
“To summarize then, let me just go over what we’ve brought up here …”
“Before we wrap up, let me just summarize the bottom line …”
“To sum up what just said …”
“Like I just said, the …”
Final Thoughts
This is the opportunity to see what people really think once the formal small talk has ended and their guard is down.
“Any final thoughts before we wrap up today?”
“If you have further questions or want to discuss any of it in more detail …”
“I’d like to thank you for listening and any feedback would be valuable…”
“So do we think this is the correct way to…?”
Phrasal Verbs
to wrap up
to tie up
to wind up
– to end or finish something.
Phrasal Verbs
Verbs in motion with the preposition by.
to go by
to come by
to drop by
to swing by
to run by
-All just mean a quick visit.
Additional Lines to Navigate a Conversation
Being prepared will make you feel much more confident and ready to carry out the objective.
When you need to defend an interruption, you can say:
“Can we dive into that point later when we have more time?”
“May I finish what I was saying and then …”
“Would you please let me make my point?”
“That is a little off topic.”
When the conversation is limited to time:
“I’m sorry, but that’s a long story, how about we chat another time.”
“Why don’t we check to see if Tom is ready?”
“It looks like they are ready to start, lets go check.”
Being Late…
You may run into a problem and show up a few minutes late. Or, you may have crossed your schedule and have to head to the other side of town. How do you deal with this without being rude?
It is ok to be late, but don’t blame others. Use “I” to take responsibility for your tardiness.
“Excuse me for being late, I was …”
“Sorry for not getting here on time, I was …”
“I apologize for being late, I didn’t look at my watch.”
(and leaving early)
If you need to head to another meeting, here are some lines to help excuse yourself.
“Excuse me, unfortunately I have to leave early. I need to head over to the Finance Dept …”
“I’ve got to head out, I’ve got overlapping meetings”
“Sorry I’m going to have to leave now, I am heading up to the Sun Valley Golf Course.”
Phrasal Verbs
to wrap up
to tie up
to wind up
– to end or finish something.
Phrasal Verbs
Head with a preposition, means Go.
to head to
to head over
to head in
to head out
to head by
“head” just means “go”.
The timing behind small talk.
This book will change your life.
How can we use the hidden patterns of the day to build the ideal schedule? Why do certain breaks dramatically improve student test scores? How can we turn a stumbling beginning into a fresh start? Why should we avoid going to the hospital in the afternoon? Why is singing in time with other people as good for you as exercise? And what is the ideal time to quit a job, switch careers, or get married?
Did you know?
Over 75% of people say they are bad at small talk.
About 90% of people say they regret not talking to strangers.
Around 25% of the time irrelevant/inappropriate topics are brought up.
Less than 15% of people admit to being offended by strangers small talk.
More than 85% of people think that it is a nice and friendly way to meet people.
Estimating Percentages
Over…
About…
Around…
Less than…
More than…
How to pronounce “percenta”…
(Pronouncing “precenta”. Push the percent and of together to have a more native sound)
What they say…
Quotes from some famous users…
“When the outcome of a meeting is to have another meeting, it has been a lousy meeting”
-Herbert Hoover
“Keep things informal. Talking is the natural way to do business. Writing is great for keeping records and putting down details, but talk generates ideas. Great things come from out luncheon meetings which consist of a sandwich, a cup of soup, and a good idea or two. No martinis.”
-T. Boone Pickens
“It took me years to work out the difference between net and gross. In meetings I just used to say, ‘Tell me if it’s good or bad news.”
-Richard Branson
Verb Collocations
COLLOCATION TYPE 1:
Verb + Infinitive form
to offer
to decide
to refuse
to hesitate
to fail
to plan
to hope
to please
to arrange
to seem
to want
to prepare
Examples
to offer to negotiate
to decide to sign
to plan to resign
to hope to meet
to prepare to find
to seem to be
PRONUNCIATION TIP:
Connect your first verb and then, make your pause between the “to” and the second “verb”.
For example, “Do you want-to go to the meeting.”
For example, “Do you want to go to the meeting.”
And then do not pronounce “to” as “two” or “too”, it has a different pronunciation as “ta”.
“Do you wanta go to the meeting.”
COLLOCATION TYPE 2:
Verb + ing form
to suggest
to practice
to postpone
to deny
to admit
to discuss
to risk
to complete
to finish
to avoid
to consider
to understand
Examples
to suggest reviewing
to discuss defaulting
to consider offering
to risk losing
to finish setting out
to postpone performing
In a meeting, you want to sound normal and follow the normal rules in order to reach your objective more effectively. When you use standard lines and phrases, you sound normal. As native speakers, we all grow up seeing and hearing these expressions everyday and use them in and out of the boardroom. We like what feels familiar, and therefore we get together with and come to agreements with people who make us feel that way.
Tips to help you speak & write more clearly.
Check out the full article here on Legal English Writing Tips
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About the Author
Eric Froiland
Eric is a legal English teacher from the United States and has been based out of Bogota, Colombia for the last 10 years. He is the owner and founder of Legal English Innovation SAS, which is recognized as the top legal English academy in Colombia and is an official Test of Legal English Skills (TOLES) examination center.
